Sunday, January 23, 2011

My reply

Anonymous said...



Why are you adopting more kids when your biological children would rather stay with a stranger in Eastern Europe than come home with you? Honestly, what are you thinking? You need to beg your child to not leave you stranded in eastern Europe and then you stay up all night, thinking she will leave as you sleep, yet you obstinately believe you can take care of more children? I'd love to hear the reasoning on that. I loved the comment from Heather saying: "I tend to think that Satan knows perfectly well how Isabelle is going to change you and your family and he was doing everything he could possibly do to in a last-ditch effort. Not that he would make her cry, but just how he got you and Taylor down like that." Good thing we have a talented demonologist on the roster here. I never would have guessed that Satan could manipulate a teenager to throw a fit about some European boytoy but can't manage to make an infant with down syndrome cry. You people really need to start using some reasoning skills and not leave everything up to your imaginary God. I’m sorry for my harsh comments, but you people need some sense knocked into you. I’m seriously concerned for your newly acquired daughter. You take her out of an orphanage and then immediately show her a “2 hour” screaming match. The kid must have been terrified. Please, just start thinking rationally, and good luck –I think you’re really going to need it.


--Cheers




I did appreciate your honesty up until the part that you said, "I’m sorry for my harsh comments". Why would you be sorry if this is how you feel? Why use the word "harsh"? Why sign the post "Anonymous", why not let me know your name and allow me the opportunity to give you the reasoning you state you would love to hear? I knew when I started this blog that not everyone would understand where I am coming from. You have your right to your opinions as do I. What I would ask from you as that you please don't make any assumptions!!! Let me help you with a few of the things you stated that are just not true.



My bioligical children (plural) didn't want to stay in EE - it was one biological child
I never begged Taylor not to leave me stranded in EE- I begged her to calm down and talk to me reasonably 
Isabelle is not an infant with Down syndrome - she is a toddler
I don't have an imaginary God
There was no 2 hour screaming match - that would involve two people screaming
Isabelle was not terrified - actually she was way more interested in playing on the floor and laughing
Being up all night with worry of one child doesn't have anything to do with not being able to take care of children - It has to do with Loving them more than anything.
I am not sure if Heather is a  talented demonologist - I would have to check


I appreciate your concern for Isabelle!  I am concerned about her too.  I think my concerns differ a little from yours.  I am concerned that people will make instant judgements about her.  I am concerned that people feel they have to label her.  Why did you feel that you had to put "an infant with down syndrome", why do you have to describe her with "down syndrome"?  How about an infant with brown hair and blue eyes?  Or an infant with the sweetest personality ever?  Or just an infant?  But again she will be 3 next month - so she is a toddler. 

Please feel free to leave me your contact info and I would be happy to answer your questions. 

Thanks!!!!

28 comments:

  1. I think it is a sad world we live in. So sad that people chose not to believe in God. How hopeless those people must feel, even though they would never admit it. I will pray for her.

    I just am reminded about the scripture, For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Eph. 6:12.

    My question to that person would be, why wouldnt satan use a teenager?

    Again, I am sorry for the negativity you are receiving. That comes with sharing your heart with the world especially when it has to do with God or God's work. It is sad that this is the world we live in, but not as sad for us as for the many unbelievers. I have a God who loves me for me and with that I have HOPE. As do you.

    Be blessed
    Ashlee

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  2. Are you freakin' kidding me! i didn't know satan went by the name anonymous and made stupid comments . Sorry for my harsh comment too, Summer but i couldn't muster the eloquence that you did.
    Your moment with Taylor sounds pretty typical to me. A teenager,a foreign country , a boy....and a 'simple" request to stay an extra week. Yeah I can picture that, and see my oldest in Taylor's place with no problem. I could see myself behaving exactly the same way at her age!

    Isabelle is one of the luckiest children in the world. There are enough of us out here that believe that and are willing to tell you everyday. You and your family are amazing, and our not so imaginary God is guiding and guarding you all.

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  3. Annonymous said it all with the words "imaginary God." That gives a lot of insight into what a sad life this person must be living without our all powerful God! Isabelle is blessed to have you and you are blessed to have her. God planned it all out before you ever gave it a thought. He calls, we follow, regardless. We abandon rational thoughts when we are called by Him and if annonymous thinks thats CRAZY, then great....we are living crazy to carry out God's love on this Earth and I'd be honored to be called crazy for God! You go girl!

    Can't wait to see pictures and meet this beautiful angel!!!! Email me when you have time :)

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  4. so I just found your blog. I think it is a good idea to put these crazy comments on here,So we see there are some people who just dont get it.I have not adopted but my son was born with DS also and he is the most precious gift to our family. Some people dont understand how children with DS change lives FOREVER. So to you I say thank you even though it is the ugly side of things. Prayers are for you and your precious family.

    PS I am so glad you are adopting your little o ne

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  5. Oh I love people with such a narrow perspective like this Anounymous! They are so funny! Very reasonable questions like "Why do you adopt a child, when you already cannot cope with your other children". It's like you ask "Why do you save someone from drowning, when it's his destiny; and it's kind of his fault that he doesn't know how to swim".. I am not close to God either, but when I see your faith and devotion, I respect and admire you. I wish negative people wouldn't bother you anymore. Good luck!

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  6. Summer's reply was quite reasonable, so she doesn't need my help, but here it is anyway...

    Dear Anonymous,

    Having been through two domestic adoptions earlier this year, you can bet this family has been through the grinder with being cross examined by the US social care system, so if their personal testimony doesn't convince you, maybe you will be happy with the voice of our all powerful government.

    Isabelle will be in good hands, so no need to worry about that. Plus hard to be in worse hands then committed to a corner of an adult asylum somewhere which is where she was headed.

    Our God is not imaginary. He is as real as the nose on your voice (which by the way He created). If you know anything about science, you will realize that complex systems like this universe or your body don't happen by accident. Nature tends towards entropy and chaos unless controlled by a specific intelligent source. Just to convince skeptics like you, he appeared on this Earth at a specific date and time as a man named Jesus Christ in the most documented and historically corrobated event of the time.

    I don't agree with what Summer's daughter did on the trip. I also know as a teenager I made mistakes just as bad and worse. Perhaps the home you live in is all peace and love and no one ever makes mistakes? If so, either you are truly blessed or a tad dishonest with yourself and us.

    Summer and Family,

    Keep the faith. God will give you the grace to grow through this too.

    Thank you for the courage and generosity to adopt not once, but three times in one year! You are truly a loving family.

    May God Bless you all,
    Tom Lococo

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  7. I have been blessed with only positive comments on my blog about our Ukraine adoption. It is shocking to me that someone with that much negativity would take the time to not only read a blog about something they obviously don't care about, but to then comment with such venom. But, I must say, your response about not being sure if Heather is a talented demonologist cracked me up!

    Glad you are home and getting to know your little girl. She is truly beautiful.

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  8. I am so sorry that someone had to post such nastiness on such a beautiful blog. Way to hold your head up high Summer:) You and your family have the support from so many people! I am really looking forward to seeing all the homecoming pics!!!

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  9. Oh, there is a group of adult adoptees who love to scour the adoption blogs. Most of the time their user names all track back to the same blog. They are adoptee who, adopted under very different circumstances, carry a lot of anger toward their adoptive parents.

    Obviously anonymous doesn't realize that by the time you and your daughter were dealing with the issue of her staying in EE, your adoption was already FINAL! I love when people comment on a process they know nothing about, but they have all the advice in the world. My guess is anonymous hasn't ever parented teenagers either.

    I wouldn't have even bothered with a response to this person.

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  10. Your response to Anonymous was well spoken.

    I am a believer and this commenter would obviously think I was crazy for what I believe. While I fully respect that Anonymous has beliefs that differ from mine and has the right to express her/his opinions, stand up and identify yourself.

    Isabelle is a very lucky little girl. Summer,you and your family will give her a life filled with love, support and opportunity to reach her full potential.
    (And yes Anonymous, there will be ups and downs but show me a parent, believer or non-believer, who doesn't have moments of stress in parenting.)

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  11. Summer,

    Your other commenters here said it much more eloquently than I could but seriously...my jaw is on the floor!! Isabelle is blessed to be a part of your amazing family. And you are blessed to have found this little pearl of great price. People like that make it difficult to be honest with each other. We all deal with pain and fear and disobedience in our families. Thank the Lord we can turn to Him for peace and guidance.

    Much love to you and yours!!

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  12. Wow! Does this person not realize that this scenario had nothing to do with Isabelle being adopted. Similar things like that play out in teenagers homes daily because THAT IS WHAT TEENAGERS DO!!! And you, being the great mom that you are, resolved it. She is home with you right now, not over there. Great response!!

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  13. I'm also posting "anonymously" due to computer constraints, but I'm Susan in Ky., who also posted yesterday. I am so sorry that some random, cowardly stranger felt he or she had to berate you so severely and irrationally, then toss in an insult to your beliefs (which I share) as a bonus.

    Good grief, nasty poster, does your being a troll really serve anyone well? Does it give you some sort of feeling of superiority to stand in judgement of people who have done so much to save an innocent little life? Do you really think an immature teenager's infatuation and the resulting conflict with her mother should be handled any other way?
    Those are rhetorical questions and you don't need to reply.

    Sorry, I just had to vent a little. Your daughters are beautiful and you've just done a great thing. Seldom does anything of value come without effort in this world, but your perseverance and faith have brought you a great blessing.

    Very best wishes,
    Susan in Ky
    Cousin to two from Ukraine

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  14. I know I don't comment on here often, but I do read your blog regularly. I am very sorry you received such a negative comment. You are truly a wonderful person to open up your heart to give your precious little girl the life, home and love she deserves.
    God Bless you and your family.
    Tara the.lilangel@yahoo.com

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  15. Summer ~ I also don't understand how you could adopt another child...how could one family be as fortunate as yours to have the strength, determination, love, and dedication to open your hearts to a little girl that had so little. My REAL GOD brought you to this place and I hope that these "harsh" comments will flow over you like water and wash away. God Bless your family and your spirit.
    P.S. I also can't wait to see more cute pictures of the cutie Isabelle!

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  16. Um, hello? Has nasty anon ever MET a hormone driven teenage girl? If it hadn't been in the Ukraine it would have been at home. Or at summer camp. Or at the local football game.

    This is kind of a hallmark of teenagehood, losing your head over a boy and disobaying your parents.

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  17. I don't understand it either...I don't get how one family can be so blessed! Teenagers will be teenagers, the fact she stayed with you and was by your side the next day...that shows just how wonderful of a parent you are and how strong her core values must be-you done good! And nows you have been blessed again, one more little girl to raise to be one feisty young lady. And I am blessed to be able to read along and enjoy your journey!

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  18. I'm just happy that you are Home with your family! You have been through the fire during those difficult days, but HE held you up and walked you through it. Let ugly words be like Psalm 35:5 says: Blow them away like chaff in the wind--a wind sent by the angel of the LORD.
    With much Love ~ JO

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  19. I feel so bad that someone who obviously doesn't understand adopting or teenagers felt like they had to "enlighten" you. Coming from a mother of 2 internationally adopted children and 2 bio, one of which has Ds, I applaud you for following where God has led you! Blessings to your family!!! Each of them is beautiful!

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  20. God has made you and your family (which includes Isabelle) for a time such as this. You are doing a wonderful job and He knew exactly who to choose as Isabelle's new family - who would have the strength and the faith to walk through this journey...YOU guys. Love and prayers! Stay strong! And thank you for your the honest posts that expose all parts of this walk -both good and bad. :-) XOXO

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  21. No additional advice and anything I would say to your anonymous commentor would be completely rude and probably use bad words. Since I DO have some sense and self restraint, I will not say anything to that person. However to you I will say awesome response, you are an amazing mom with an amazing family, and I'm proud and thankful to call you friend.
    Love, Julie

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  22. Summer, you are a better, kinder, and more patcient woman then me. The quick and easy of it all is

    Taylor is 16, and her behaviour is not any different then MANY other people her age. (Poor Taylor with her life all over the blog now - I COMPLETELY understand her though, as ALL of the boys I dated in high school lived FAR away (there were not as many as the "ALL" makes it seem).

    The fact that she stood by you, helped so much with her little sister that she loves so much, and came home with you shows that your parenting and your realtionship are not up for debate.

    Isabelle is has been blessed, just as your family has been for all of you to find each other. No reason for anyone to worry about the matching of this little girl to your familiy. She is exactly where she is meant to be!

    And lastly, what other post in the comments should NOT reflex on the way you think, parent or believe. You posted what this fool had to say, and obviously you do not agree with their thoughts, so to assume that because you allowed a comment to be posted that if reflexs your own beliefs (even if it does)is nuts.

    Can't believe how ignorent some people can be. And how patcient other are able to be with them. I would have been ignorent back, or would have deleted and forgotten about it.

    You're a better woman then I.

    Love and hugs to you:)

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  23. I have nothing to contribute to the discussion other than to say that GOD IS VERY REAL and He is alive and well in your family Summer (of course, you already know that!)!!

    Oh, and I can vouch for Susan in KY, she's an angel lady!! :)

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  24. Thanks, Mel, but any halo I may have slips way to often for me to be an "angel"!;-)

    Glad to hear things are settling down, Summer...

    Oh, yes, I am certain Tay isn't thrilled to have all this out there - so this is for her. Sweetie, been there, done that (almost). Cherish the sweet memories of your all-to-breif exotic romance, write him if you can, and know that lots of us posters understand how strongly you feel right now. But please don't shut yourself off from all the other things going on around you right now (no evidence that you're doing this; I just remember my own experience at 16). Spend time with local friends, both girls and boys, do fun stuff, keep on loving on your precious little new sister, be patient with your parents...things will fall into perspective with time, hard though they may seem right now.

    (((Taylor)))

    Susan in Ky
    Cousin to Two from Ukraine, but no angel!

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  25. You and your family are amazing. You are truly blessed to have her in your life. Do not let these people that have no life and know nothing about you bring you down. YOU ARE AMAZING PEOPLE

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  26. A demonologist,huh? Hmmmm. Don't think I'll take that one personally. ;) Anyway...I'm so glad you're home safe and sound with beautiful Bella.

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  27. wow, obviously anonymous has never adopted a toddler internationally, nor parented a hormonal teenager. while having done both i can say with certainty that i have experienced all of the feelings you have just described. holding my children on the plane while taking off from their country of birth hit me at my core, but if we all had not taken that leap two of my 6 would not be walking and one would not be alive...thats for sure. these are normal feelings in that circumstance. you throw in a crush and some hormones to the mix and i'd say you did stellar in your handling of the situation and completing bella's adoption. she is beautiful and im so happy for you and her. please do not let anonymous take the wind out of your sails! Our very real God is proud of your perseverance and trust in him when things got dark.

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  28. HEATHER NATALIE BUCHHOLZJanuary 28, 2011 at 4:13 PM

    dear mr. or ms. (as i highly doubt you have ben betrothed) clearly appointed mesenger of satan. tell him "hello". it is perplexing and bewildering that you hail from a universe void of conflict, stress, TEENAGERS, orphaned children...yet this "blessed" place allows satan a loud speaker and some opinionated platform. i considered verbally destroying you (with the help of Santa Claus, my savior) but you surely beat me right to it. congrats on the charity worlds FIRST raspberry award for your remarkably ugly, ignorant and sweet reminder of what linda blair looks like in the EXORCIST. good for you. have a fab day...or rather a dismal anger filled day. whatever floats your swiftly sinking ship. ta-ta angel :)

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