February 26, 1994 is the day I gave birth to Taylor and it is also the day I realized why I was put on this earth. I remember holding her immediately after she was born and KNOWING for the first time that this is what life is all about. I was meant to be a Mother. I was meant to PROTECT this child and any other that would come my way.
I want to Protect - YES!!!!
But the moment I hear something that someone might of said or did to one of my bear cubs - This happens:
I am certain this is an issue for all Mom's! But I have an extreme case. I want to KILL!! After a few moments of thinking of the awful things I would like to do to this person or people, I try so hard to calm down. I Pray. I ask GOD to please help me. I don't want to wish awful things on other people - that is so not right - I know this. But I really just lose control for a few minutes. I can't see past the RED ZONE!!! Many times this has resulted in me confronting the person and you know what happens??? The person or people usually apologize and have a million excuses why they said or did what they did. I am or was a FIRM believer that a person should always be confronted. Maybe they wont do it again???
This type of situation happened two days ago to one of my teenagers. I went to the RED ZONE and I was able to calm down. I calmed down so much that I didn't confront the person. So now I feel a little guilty. I don't want to be that laid back, you know what I mean? The big kids have asked me "why do you get so crazy?". So I do try and explain to them that something inside of me just gets out of control. Many times when they are going to tell me something they say "Mom, promise you wont do anything?". So these are obviously some red flags that have now caused me to try and CALM DOWN MAMA BEAR!!! I do want you to know that I have never been in a physical altercation - just in case you were wondering!!
So I ask you, how do you handle these situations? Do you confront? Or do you just try and forget it knowing that some people are just jerks?
I LOVE your kind of crazy!
ReplyDeleteI use to confront people but now I shrink and just chalk it up to jerks will be jerks.
I dont yet have any children,but I even notice that I become "mama bear" when someone says or does something to my husband! I think it is quite the. Compliment that your children say "mom promise you won't do anything"... It shows that they know you will be their warrior if need be. It shows that they feel secure in your protecting them even if you don't need to for that situation. As far as saying something to others, I'm a strong believer that if you can do it from a place of love and a desire to enlighten you are right on track!!!!!
ReplyDeleteLots of love and always prayers mamma bear!
I knew we are soulsisters...but when I read this MAMABEAR post, it confirms me it even more....so I do not have to go into much details on that kind of things about myself, as you already wrote everything down in this post...YES,I can sign this!! POINT!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd it is also exactely the same sentence, that our kids start with, when they want to tell me something, well..."Mom, but PROMISE you wont do anything!!!"
And Yes, there are often situations where it would be better to stay quiet, than to confront....I know that, and experienced it!! But I have to admit: I have a long way to go!!
Well dear Friend: how we gonna manage this when we meet maybe this summer, and such a situation, like you told us, will happen?? I mean, such a DOUBLEMAMABEAREXTREMECASE :):) will be more than dangerous....what you think?? Any suggestions??? Can not wait to hear from you!!!
I try to always remember that there are usually two sides to every story. Sometimes, it is better to take a little time to "cool off" before overreacting, assess the situation, finding out as much as I can about it and then handling it the best way I know how. When I was a younger mother, I would just blow everything out of proportion before I had all the information I needed. Now that I am older, I realize many times I should have waited things out and my reaction (and the outcome) would have been very different. It is very hard not to overreact when it's your kiddos, but I try to always remember that I am always a child of God and that I represent Him at all times. How I react to any situation is an example to others. I am representing HIM to everyone around me including my family. Usually after a time of thinking about these situtions, I can find a nicer way to handle it than if I had reacted immediately when it happened. It is very normal to be a "Momma Bear" and I know that God wants us to protect our children. He just wants us to do it in the right way. As the mother of now adult children, I will tell you that it doesn't get any easier when they are adults. They still get hurt and "Momma Bear" still wants to fight their battles. Just give your burden to God and He will work it all out. Praying for you as you travel soon to get your new baby. God Bless you!!!
ReplyDeleteI firmly believe in sticking up for yourself and your loved ones. I think when someone does wrong, it should be acknowledged so they don't think they "got away with it" or that it's okay for them to do it again (sometimes they're oblivious that their actions or behaviors have hurt someone else and it needs to be pointed out). I am a very direct and candid person, but in all honesty, I hate confrontation. However, it depends on the circumstances. I used to never let anything go, everything was "personal." Now through maturity and life experience, I've learned to pick and choose my battles. I guess it all comes down to what's too important to ignore and what you can brush off... for the time being. I have a "two strikes and you're out" rule. Everyone is human and we all make mistakes, but I don't make a habit of dealing with repeat offenders.
ReplyDeleteYou are a good little mama bear! I know how much you love your kiddos!
ReplyDelete