Just having one of those nights where I am second guessing everything.
I am a sick mess about walking in to the USCIS office tomorrow.
Why? It is so silly!!!
The worst they can do is tell us "no"!
So why am I so freaked out about it????? I honestly don't know!!!
I am sick to my stomach about who will watch the kids with my Mom while we are in EE.
Sick about who will watch the kids while I am in EE and Dave is at work during the second trip.
Wondering where all the money is going to come from.
Worrying that we will be longer in EE then expected and Dave will run out of vacation time.
Worried that Gavin might not like us.
Worried about Bellie while we are gone (since I experienced how Sara and Owen will do when we went away last year).
Worried that our plane will crash.
Just plain worried about everything I can possible worry about!!!
I wish it was something I could just brush off but it just doesn't work!!!
Even when Owen told me today "I have a magic penis - when I touch it - it pees", now yes this was so super funny but didn't take the nasty worries away. I'm losing it I know because that should cure any issue!!!
Well, of course we did - I did think of all of those things a million times!! I kept telling my self - no trouble - it will all work out just like it did with Belle. But now that we are getting closer and it all is more realistic - those crazy awful things start creeping in my mind. I don't like it one bit!!! It happened prior to leaving for Bellie too! I just didn't admit it then because I was embarrassed. Well I'm not embarrassed this time as it must be some what normal for this to happen again.
So there you have it!!! I am a nervous wreck tonight!! I am going to go to bed and PRAY that I wake up with a much better attitude!!! Cuz this one STINKS!!!!!! Pee- Ew!!!
Okay girlie before I lay my head down tonight I am saying prayers for you.
ReplyDeleteGavin is going to love you both, I am sure of that...
The rest will fall into place, only wish I lived closer to help you physically unless you want to send cherubs to me!
Love you and sending big hugs your way.
:)
Oh Summer...I'm so sorry you are feeling all this, but yes, it is very normal! Praying God's Peace to totally surround you tonight and refresh you as you wake.
ReplyDeleteBtw, Owen is WAAAAYYY too funny! LOL
Praying for you Summer! Praying for a peace that is undeniably His to settle in your heart!
ReplyDeleteI hug you, dear Friend!!! And I pray for GODs PEACE reigning your BIG beautiful heart!!!
ReplyDeleteOh and I hate that ocean between us, which hinders me to just come over and taking care of your kids and helping out in what ever you need, during that journey of bringing GAVIN home!!!
Love, Christina
Praying for peace as your family grows. God always finishes what He has started...remember that!
ReplyDeleteBrooke
www.TheAnnessaFamily.blogspot.com
Summer,
ReplyDelete"When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,"Jesus, could you get that for me?"
Love , Steph
I do believe your family is doing the work of God and you better believe He will be taking care of you and Gavin as this journey continues. Gavin is so worth all of this worry, hard work, questions just as Miss Belle was worth all of that. Prayers for peace in your heart and a great appointment today. He is holding you in His arms.
ReplyDeleteOk, first of all Summer...Owen's comment has me laughing so hard I am crying. So very similar to my life around here.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, this is what came to mind when I read about all of your worries:
Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord (releasing the weight of it) and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be moved.
I am praying that prayer for you today! That you will cast your burden on the Lord and allow him to bear the weight of it so that you can move forward freely in what he has so very obviously called you to do! XO
I remember some of those fears. We didnt go across the world for an extended period of time but we went across the US. We thought about it all too but when it becomes a reality its different than in our head. I remember thinking about the plane crashing too. And the baby, and the other kids. I am sorry you are at this part of the process, I am sure more than just you and me go through this. I pray for peace for you and your family. be blessed
ReplyDeleteAshlee
Oh Summer - I certainly hope those thoughts and feelings are normal because I had them too. And Gavin is going to love you sooo much! You can worry about the other stuff if you must, but no worries about that one!
ReplyDeletePraying for your peace of mind. I had many sleepless nights before we went to get Quinton and my anxiety just got the best of me. We were not fully funded until 50 minutes before we boarded our plane. The money will come. Oh, and I about died when I read about the magic pee pee :) Hope you have a much better day today and some very peaceful sleep tonight.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you Summer! Of course Gavin is going to LOVE your family, and they are going to love him too! And I'm sure many amazing people will want to take care of your amazing children!
ReplyDeleteI remember all these worries too, Summer. I've been wracking my brain all morning trying to figure out a way we could help you with child care, etc. One thing I need to say... Gavin is going to love you guys. You have no worries there.
ReplyDeletePatty