It broke my heart that we were not submitted. I got the news at work and I held it together pretty well. And then I got in the van to go home and lost it! I was definitely having a pity party for my self. I wanted to call someone but who???? Who could I call and just cry, cry, cry???? Who would understand???? I felt like no one understands - no one can possibly understand the desperation. I LOVE this little girl and there isn't a thing I can do to help her. Most people just don't get it - they can't get it. They can NOT at all understand how we can love these 2 girls so much. "How can you love someone you haven't even met", "why are you going thru so much to adopt when you can just adopt here", "don't you know all the kids that need a family in our own country", "why do you just set your self up for heart ache", "Can't you just be happy with what you already have". AAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!! Not being submitted is just a "what ever" to them. But what about Isabelle - what about her???? This is just more time she spends all alone in a crib. Just waiting, waiting for NOTHING because for 2 years of her little life NOTHING has changed. She only sees the bars of a crib and the 4 walls of a room. THAT IS IT!!!!! And here we are - A family that wants desperately to Love and Care for her and there isn't anything we can do for her! Yep, it is a tough road this international adoption but I promise this - When we bring that beautiful princess HOME - it will ALL BE WORTH IT!!!!!! And here I am complaining to all the people that understand and know every ounce of what goes in to this. And know how desperately these children need our help. I am definitely whining to the wrong people!!! You guys all GET IT - I just wish more people around me would get it - just one would be nice!! Okay - enough of my pity party!!!
I got home and Owen wanted to watch Barney ( this is no surprise), his favorite episode is "bugs". So they sing "I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee". Owen had to be the bee, see:
Then Sara put on her "love bug" costume because that was the closest costume to a second bee we had and she has to get right up to the camera when I take her picture
And here they are, my two precious bugs
So we sang the song about 27 times
And that's all it took - I found my smile real quick.
We referred to Isabelle tonight as "Belly Bug", we need our Belly Bug to come HOME!!!!!
:) Those are two GREAT reasons to smile right there.
ReplyDeleteI just sank when I read that you weren't submitted today. I know how much this means not only to you but to that sweet little girl sitting over there waiting for a family to call her own. I truly cannot imagine what her days are like day after day.
Oh we LOVE Barney here too. He's jumped up there to top of the favorites pile lately. I remember the songs from our daughter now the granddaughter has me singing them all the time. Funny thing is I find myself humming them when they aren't even on. LOL
I'm so sorry that you felt so alone today.
Teri
I so get it!!! She isn't even going to be my child and my heart sunk that the thought of another week going by. I can't tell you I am sorry enough!!! Boy, God sure is testing your patience, isn't he?
ReplyDeleteI say if you want to have a pity party then you go right ahead and have one! It's all going to work out for His good, but getting there is sure a test of faith. Praying for your family and your little princesses!
ReplyDeleteDecided I should comment after being a "lurker" for some time! I've been following your blog for a while and your story has just touched my family so much. My husband and I plan to adopt and we are looking in to all the options - including foster care. I NEVER would have thought of foster-to-adopt without reading your blog - so thank you. We are also considering a Reeces Rainbow adoption too...just researching all the options!
ReplyDeleteKnow that your family is prayed for by us every night and we can't wait for your little girl to come home!
Even though I am not yet in the adoption process I understand the frustration of having to wait and even more so the frustration of not being in control of the things that need to happen NOW not tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you and for protection for the girls as they wait to join their family.
Praying-next week HAS to be "your week" and Isabelle's week, too-it's time!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you were not submitted. It's true, you are not alone. I hate waiting too! Our dossier was submitted on Oct. 14 and we are still waiting for an SDA appointment. I know of at least three families who were submitted on the same day as ours that have received their SDA appointment already, and the first family received their SDA appointment on Oct. 25. And you are right. It is frustrating that the people around us don't get it. I'm at least thankful that I know that I'm not alone and that their are other adoptive parents out there that understand what I'm going through, because they have experienced the same exact thing. I will be praying for you to be submitted this week.
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