Thursday, March 22, 2012

Dear Lyla

Dear Lyla,

It has been almost 2 years since I first saw your beautiful face on the Reece's Rainbow site.  I was so drawn to your picture, it was if your eye's just screamed for me to come get you!!  I knew the instant I saw you that I wanted to be your Mom!!  I knew that you were meant to be a part of our family.

I remember the day we committed to you like it was 5 minutes ago.  It was one of the most Amazing days of my life. I was so insane with EXCITEMENT that I was running in and out of the house like a complete lunatic.  I wanted to SCREAM to the world that you were going to be my daughter!!!

I made many promises to you that day.  I promised to do what ever it would take to get you home.  I promised that you were about to be BLESSED with the Best Daddy in the whole world.   I also promised that you would never ever live a day with out being loved once I got my hands on you!!!

I am so sorry that almost 2 years later, I have not kept even one promise to you.

As miraculously as it might sound because of YOU we have added two precious treasures to our family.  When you were very sick and we were not permitted to bring you home we decided to continue our adoption journey.   This was not easy!!!  As a matter of fact it was AWFUL knowing that you were not coming home.  It was horrific knowing that you would go to HEAVEN with out ever knowing the LOVE of a family.  Your little heart was failing and we were told that you would only be leaving the ICU to go to HEAVEN.    I remember thinking that GOD must of misunderstood my prayers to help you get home.  I never meant HOME with Him - I meant home with us!!!!

I wasn't sure if I could love another little girl the way I had already LOVED you.  I have to be honest though, I knew the moment I held Belle that she was absolutely meant to be my daughter.  I knew that I loved her with all my heart and soul just as I loved you!!   I had no idea how it all happened.  I couldn't begin to figure out how in the world that you being so ill led us to Belle!!!   How, could the obsession of adopting one little girl and her getting sick lead us to our "meant to be" daughter?????  I realized it was God's plan - HE knew all along that Belle would be the 6th addition to our family.  I sure was GRATEFUL!!!!

We had promised (yes, again) that we would return for you in the spring if you had survived.  We had inquired several times.  You were still in the hospital and still not expected to survive.  We grieved!!!  We finally realized that you were not coming home to us.  Our dream of YOU being a part of our family came to and end.  We were heartbroken.

We still felt that we were being called to adopt.  This time we were going to bring home a very handsome little boy.  Again, it was so obvious that GAVIN was absolutely meant to be part of our family.  It's just that Amazing!!!   You, sweet girl, led us again and we are so very grateful!!!!

When the news was revealed that you had SURVIVED, we were over the moon EXCITED!!!  It was a Miracle!!!  You were a Miracle!!!  So many people had been praying for you to survive and YOU DID!!!  It was so surreal!!!  We all quickly realized how very strong and determined you were to know the LOVE of a forever family.   You were a FIGHTER!!!!

But now what?  We were already in the process to adopt Gavin and we couldn't adopt two children.  We were SICK!!!  We were so torn with what to do.  Should we abandon Gavin and proceed to bring you home???  Or do we continue with our journey to Gavin and abandon you???  Oh it was awful.  Not to mention that Gavin was in the same orphanage you were.  Daddy had no idea when we first committed to Gavin that he chose a little boy in the same orphanage as the little girl he had loved with all his heart!!

We decided that we would continue our journey to bring Gavin home and PRAY like crazy that a family would commit to you as soon as POSSIBLE!!!  I can't even ever explain to you how guilty I felt about this but it did feel right for some reason.

A family committed to bring you home.  A beautiful family that we are very close friends with.  We were so RELIEVED that you would be a part of their fabulous family.  We were so GRATEFUL that you would finally have the life saving surgery that you so desperately deserved!!!

On our first trip to Gavin, we walked by your little room 4 times a day, every day for over 2 weeks.  We didn't know that we were so close to you but we knew you were in the orphanage somewhere.  We did not ask to see you during our first trip.  I am so so sorry.  I just couldn't.  I was WEAK WITH GUILT!!!  I couldn't face you.  You had done so very much for me.  SO MUCH!!!  AND I HAD DONE NOTHING FOR YOU!!!  How could I face you???  I had made so many promises to you and not kept one.  I was ashamed!!!

The second trip I was stronger and ready to meet the beautiful girl that I had dreamed about and tell her that her Mommy & Daddy were coming for her soon!!!  I am not sure if you remember meeting me but I will remember the day I met you for the rest of my life.  I walked in to your  teeny tiny room and there YOU WERE!!!  You were laying in your crib just staring up at the ceiling.  The caregiver picked you up and held you right in front of me.  I couldn't believe it!!!  There you were - the girl I had dreamed about being my daughter.  There you were - the sweetest little girl I had ever seen.  The girl that had given me so much and I hadn't done a thing for in return.   I asked to hold you.  The nanny handed me the most precious gift I have ever received.  The opportunity to hold you, love you and tell you how very sorry I was.  I felt like I was spinning - I really wasn't even sure how in the world I was holding you.  You smiled at me!!  If i thought I was spinning before I was a tornado at this point.  I looked in to your gorgeous eyes and knew instantly that I had been right all along - YOU WERE AN ANGEL!!!

I pulled my self together so I could talk to you.  I told you that you had to stay strong because your Mommy and Daddy were on their way.  I told you how LOVED you were by so many people!  I told you that I couldn't be any prouder of you!!!  I gave you a gift that Christina had made for you and it was embroidered with your name.  I told you that Christina and her family adored you endlessly!!   You just kept smiling!!  I felt like you absolutely understood everything I was telling you.

I was told I couldn't stay any longer because you were too sick to have so much going on.  I did NOT want to let you go.  Everything inside me said RUN, take her and just RUN!!!!!  I knew I couldn't take you and run even though it sure seemed like a much better option then turning my back on you!!!

The thought of leaving you was KILLING ME.  Oh My - It was something!!!

I kissed your very sweet little head and told you how much I Loved you.  I told you how very sorry I was for not being able to bring you home!!   I handed you over and tried to exit the room as fast as possible.  When I came out of your room, Conor & Nick looked so scared.  I don't think they had ever seen me like that.  I was a MESS.  I walked away knowing that I left a very large piece of my heart with you!!!

Shortly after we returned home with Gavin we found out that the family coming for you was unable to continue with your adoption.  Oh my they were just sick as they LOVE you so very much!!!!

I knew that GOD must have one serious plan for you.

Well, my goodness sweet girl, people started to rally for you like CRAZY!!!  I had sent a plea out that we could not afford another adoption but if we could there would be no question that you would be a part of our forever family.  So many of your warriors started messaging me.  They were doing everything they could to raise your ransom.    It was something to witness I tell you!!!  So many people have been praying for you for 2 years, so many people love you so very much!!  So many people are willing to do anything to bring you home to a forever family.

Our very best friends in Switzerland, Christina & Christoph (Your Prayer Warriors since you were first listed with RR) offered to help us financially.  Christina also offered to come and stay with our family while we  traveled to you.  She also offered to be here and take care of everyone while you were hospitalized.   Another beautiful family offered us their tax refund if we needed it!!!  Can you believe it?????  Also,  A group of wonderful ladies are doing an amazing giveaway for your adoption fund.

Well, It was a NO BRAIN ER!!!!!

WE COMMITTED TO BRING HOME OUR DAUGHTER!!!!!


WE COMMITTED TO YOU!!!!!!!!

So, the lady that held you 2 months ago and told you that she LOVED YOU!!!   Well sweet girl, that was your MOM!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU LYLA - I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!

 We are working at lightening speed to bring you home beautiful girl!!  Please stay strong!!!!  Please stay safe!!!!  Please know that we love you so very much and we are all so crazy excited that you are finally coming HOME!!!!

It's FINALLY Your Turn Sweet Girl!!!!!!

GLORY TO GOD


I am in complete AWE 
that the picture I took 
 of a precious little girl
with blond wispy hair and big blue eyes
was actually my
DAUGHTER


Oh YES, GOD IS GOOD

60 comments:

  1. I am an absolute weeping mess after reading this! I am so excited for your family and for Lyla. God's plan has brought you full circle, and He has given you two other precious gifts you never expected. What an amazing thing to witness!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Let the Great Amazing Race to get to Lyla begin!!!!

    Go Team Spitz!!!!

    Hang on Lyla your family is waiting for you to return home.

    Congratulations Spitz family!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh. My. Goodness. I don't know you - you don't know me - but I've been following your story for a while now. I saw Lyla on MFFM, then saw that she was available again, and saw your pain. I am beyond excited to hear that she will be coming home to YOU !!! Not only did she bring Belle and Gavin home, she'll be joining them. Seeing Belle and Gavin together in your pictures - some of the most precious pictures ever. Seeing Lyla with them soon ? Beyond pricelss ! CONGRATULATIONS !!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I cannot cry at my working place! It's not appropriate! Oh please... But no one will stop me from screaming and jumping out of joy! Yes! Yes! Lyla, congratulations!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. So so HAPPY for you and Lyla!!! This is great news. She was always meant to be your daughter - the devil tried to stop it but God is stronger and HE WON! Praising God with you and praying that the process goes smooth and quickly and that sweet Lyla will be home very very soon!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I am crying like a baby. I am so overwhelmed with happiness for you, your family, and your sweet girl. Your family will finally be complete. Hang on sweet Lyla. Hang on!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I sit here in tears. So beautiful. She was meant to be yours all along. Congrats!! I will be donating when I get paid again. Can't wait to see gotcha day photos!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. okay, i don't know if i've ever commented, but how could i not comment on this post.....my absolute FAVORITE POST i've ever read on any blog EVER!!!!! this is such a beautiful ending to lyla's story!!!! i was hoping and praying that you would be her family when all was said and done. i mean, you LOVE her; she BELONGS with you!!! thank you for sharing this and making my day!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. You don't know me but I have followed your blog since you went to Ukraine for Belle. I am sooo excited that you are going back for Lyla. She is beautiful! Can't wait to follow again!

    Tina

    ReplyDelete
  10. (((((HUGS))))))

    Weeping for joy here :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. oh my tears....I am so happy for all of you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, Summer...how am I supposed to do school here when I'm crying?!?! LOL What a beautiful post, my friend!!! I'm SOOO very, very happy for you!!!! CONGRATS! Lyla is one very loved little girl and a very special one.

    Yes, GOD IS GOOD!!!

    (And can I just say...it's about time this post went up! :-))

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow!!! I love you Spitz family ya'll are amazing!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. oh summer! I"m so so so happy for you! Please let me know if you need help with fundraising. I can donate bows and/or a gift card if you do a giveaway!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am bawling. Congratulations. I am so happy for you AND HER! God is so good!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Oh Summer! Praise the LORD!!!! I will be praying! Let me know if there is anything I can do! Lyla- you are getting the most beautiful family! I dont doubt GODs plan this whole time!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am soooo happy for you Summer! What AMAZING and EXCITING news! It was God's plan all along. Thank you for trusting Him. Because of Lyla, you got Belle and Gavin and now Lyla, it has come full circle. She led them to you and now God is leading you back to her! What an amazing story. God is sooo good! Words cannot express how very happy I am for you. Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Summer this has to be the best news of the day!! COngratulations to you and your family and of course to that sweet precious girl!! Please let us know how we can help you bring her home!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I found this quote and totally thought of you. "The question isn't who is going to let me; it is who is going to stop me." Nothing will stop you!! Again I am soo happy for you.

    Mandy

    ReplyDelete
  20. PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!

    Im so happy. How can I help? Wheres the donate button??!!!


    Be blessed

    Ashlee

    ReplyDelete
  21. Praise God! Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  22. So happy to see you all on the new commitments page!! We are Sam's family, and can't wait to follow your progress to finally get to bring her home. It's amazing what God does, isn't it? Lots of prayers for you all!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ok, I can't stop sobbing!!! Oh Summer, I am so so happy for you & your sweet Lyla!! I have been praying and praying for your girl to come home. I knew as soon as she had to be re-listed that God had to have a plan... PRAISE HIM!!!! I can't wait to see you holding your little girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. wow, so many littles! I can't wait to watch your journey to Lyla! xx

    ReplyDelete
  25. YAY GO GOD!!! Thrilled beyond words that you are finally bringing home your girl!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh Summer! The moment I saw Lyla listed on My family found me page, I just knew you were her family! I must confess that since she lost her family, I have been praying for you to find a way to bring her home! I'm just so happy for that little girl and for your family!!! She's going to be so happy and LOVED! Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Your story is amazing!!! I have been following your blog for so long!!! I always knew Lyla was meant to be yours!!! I never seen it any other way!! If you could please email me your email address I would LOVE to talk to you about adopting!!!! My email address is newhopeinterventions@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am in soooo thrilled...I have 4 or 5 layers of chill bumps!!! You are getting your precious girl after all!!!! I can't tell you just how excited I am for all of you!!! I cannot wait to watch the journey unfold!!
    Sunnie in NC

    ReplyDelete
  29. This is a beautiful letter to Lyla. I think you need to write a book when you get a chance :) What an amazing story. We all can't wait to see you, Dave, and all the kids with Lyla. Please give her a hug and kiss from all the Lococos when you see her again.
    Patty

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh, how amazing! I have been praying for this baby especially since finding out the family could not go for her. And now, to know that the family meant to be hers from the beginning gets to go after her......oh, words are not adequate!!! Praise God and bless you as you prepare to go again. Do you have any idea how long it may take this time? Is your paperwork up to date enough that you don't have to redo a lot of it? I sure hope so! I hope it all happens with lightning speed for this precious angel. God Bless!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I'm not surprised. I am thrilled, excited, ecstatic for you! I hope I can do something useful for you.

    CONGRATULATIONS!!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I am in tears, what a miraculous post! I'm sure your family is so incredibly excited and that one missing piece of your heart will finally be brought home. Also, what an amazing group of people to come forward and help in such a huge way to bring your little girl home. There are so many great people out there, there really are!! God bless your ever expanding family xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  33. Praise the Lord, his timing is always perfect! So happy for you!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Tears of JOY and just in AWE of what He has done here! God know, three little one's needed a mommy and daddy...He knew all along!

    Brooke
    www.MarvelousLoveBlog.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh my goodness Summer! I'm actually sobbing my eyes out, I can't believe you finally get to bring your sweet little angel home, I will be praying for you every step of the way!
    Much love to you all! x

    ReplyDelete
  36. Oh my word, Summer, I was so praying it was you when I saw that Lyla had a family! I'm not sure if you can feel it, but I am hugging you all the way from Vermont!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Yay!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited for you, your family, and precious Lyla! What wonderful news! I saw on FB her family had been announced but I had to go work and didn't see who it was! I was just checking my dashboard for updated posts from blogs I'm following. Just killing some time before I had to get some more work done. I am so glad I checked! Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I've been quietly following since you committed to her the first time around, I think it is since I felt your heartbreak over losing her that I feel your absolute job in finding her again! I'm a sobbing mess over here and I don't even know you :) I've always held onto the hope that she would end up with you. I knew there was a reason you didn't change your blog name. Lyla is such a special little girl and I can't wait to see her just bloom once she is home! Praying for you to get your hands on her QUICKLY!! You've ALL waited long enough to be together.

    Elisabeth

    ReplyDelete
  39. I have also been following your blog since you were in country bringing Belle home. I've never commented before, but really felt I had to this time. I am so so so very excited for you all! Your family is doing what I wish I could be doing, saving these precious orphans one at a time! Can't wait to follow along on your new journey! :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. I saw your name on the commitment page and I just started crying happy tears!!! She is your daughter and always has been! Can not wait until she gets home where she belongs!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Ahh! Awesome! What an amazing God we serve! She's beautiful and what a wonderful family she's going to come home to! Congratulations![:

    ReplyDelete
  42. Amazing! I knew that she was on My family found me but so glad that its you :)

    ReplyDelete
  43. Most comments ever on a post?? ;)

    Sweet Summer... I can't say anything that hasn't already been said above.... And even if I could I wouldn't be able to express how I'm feeling in words! Like everyone else I bawled... and I am sooo darn happy and excited for you and sweet baby girl!!!!!!!

    I totally agree with what my BFF just said to me... "I don't think I have heard a more amazing adoption story than the Spitz's."

    I can not wait until you get her home! God has provided in miraculous ways. He shut doors no one could open, and opened doors no one can shut!

    Love you and your FAMILY soo much friend!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Summer!! What a wonderful and amazing story!!! It was Gods plan all along. I am in awe! You must be so very excited!!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Yay!!! How exciting! Praise God!

    ReplyDelete
  46. If you wrote Lyla's story as fiction, it would be rejected as too unlikely, too unrealistic, too sentimental...but praise God, it's none of those things and it's real! How absolutely marvelous - Lyla's story makes me want to sing a gospel song I learned this past winter, "He is So Marvelous", with the repeating chorus "He has done marvelous things, praise the Lord!"

    And the best part of it is that Lyla's story is still in its beginning chapters, and will include even more wonderful, marvelous things as its pages turn! Can't wait to follow it!

    Susan in Ky
    Cousin to 2 from EE

    ReplyDelete
  47. I cried when I read this!! I am so so happy for you and your family!! Congrats!!

    ReplyDelete
  48. This is the best post I have read by far. Congratulations to you and your family. I am elated that soon you will be completing your family circle with the adoption of Lyla. No words can describe the happiness I feel for you Summer. Once again I look forward to following your journey in bringing home your precious gift. Best of luck to you, your husband and your children on the newest and utterly exciting chapter of your lives. You continue to inspire and amaze so many. God Bless You Summer!!!!!

    Jen

    ReplyDelete
  49. Chill bumps have taken over my body and my heart is exploding with joy. I have followed you since you first committed to Lyla and have prayed this day would come for her. THANK GOD!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  50. I am so incredibly happy for you all!! Lots of good thoughts and virtual hugs to you from Canandaigua!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. I am crying tears of joy!!! I am so happy and excited for your family! I cannot put into words how happy I am. You have met some amazing people through the adoption process:)

    ReplyDelete
  52. We too have been following your famile's journey from the beginning. We pray that the needed funds will come pouring in for sweet Lyla.

    In that RR picture it looks like Lyla has a halo. I know it's kind of silly but then I saw the full picture on your here and the reflection looks like the ASL 'A'. That's a sweet picture!

    Donated a little from the Ristow7.

    ReplyDelete
  53. SERIOUSLY!!! REALLY REALLY REALLY!!!! CRYING TEARS COVERED IN GOOSEBUMPS! OH MY GOODNESS CANT STOP CRYING! JUST CANNOT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS I AM SO THRILLED ...THE BIG PICTURE, GOD'S BIG PICTURE...GETS ME EVERYTIME!
    XXXXXXXX

    ReplyDelete
  54. Have been following your blog for over a year...I feel a connection to you as we also live in Western NY (between Buffalo and Rochester, closer to Rochester) and we are also foster parents in addition to parenting our own bio kids and adopted teen daughter. Well, you just made me cry. I have been able to see how much you love Lyla, and now to hear that you are going to bring her home....be still, my heart! I melted. Thanks for ruining my makeup this morning, LOL! Just kidding. Could not think of anything more sweet. Redemption is the word that comes to mind. Godspeed on your adoption journey....

    ReplyDelete
  55. I never commented before but I am just awe of you! I am so happy to read this! Your love for Lyla has poured out in all of your posts. I have never been blessed by adoption but I am drawn to Reece's Rainbow and adoption blogs from the children adopted from there. I have a deep love for children with special needs. I have not had the privilege of raising one but I pray that adoption may be in our future someday. We have 11 kids by birth and are expecting our 12th this summer. I will be praying for Lyla to finally come home. God Bless.

    ReplyDelete
  56. I have been following your family for quite some time and I remember when you wrote about not being able to commit to Lyla.
    I was so heartbroken for you and for her but knew in my heart God has a plan, even if it was not fair.
    I followed though your adoptions of Belle and could not understand how you and your family remained so strong through the trying times - but knew in my heart God has a plan.
    I followed through your adoption of Gavin and finally - the possible adoption of Lyla and could not understand how you and your family stood united and answered Gods call once again and how I wanted to bad for Lyla to be your daughter - but I know in my heart God has a plan.
    I watched as the other family slowly let go and it was revealed that they could not continue with the adoption and was angry because I felt so strong that you were her mother - but I know in my heard God has a plan.
    I would like to tell you - my heart is overflowing with I told you so.

    ReplyDelete
  57. CONGRATS!!!!!! I'm so happy this is public now, and I am so very grateful Miss Lyla has her forever family who will be coming for her so very SOON. I'll keep all of you in prayer, asking Jehovah Rapha for Lyla's health to get stronger and stronger and stronger. So much glory to God in this testimony. Hallelujah!

    ReplyDelete